The accounting of mountains
I am walking by a beautiful beach, burying my feet in the wet sand and taking on the most glorious sunset. I start and end my days with long showers - my showers are long, steamy, and joyous. I have the best ideas and usually solve the most annoying problems during my showers. I love the ocean, and I love water.
However, I am starting to discover mountains and to see them everywhere in my life. I stumbled on this quote from Nelson Mandela while reading Disruptive Thinking by T. D. Jakes: “I have discovered the secret that after climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more hills to climb. I have taken a moment to rest, to steal a view of the glorious vista that surrounds me, to look back on the distance I have come...”
While I wanted 2023 to be a year of flows, following the course, this year is shaping to be a journey through the hills. It is a year of unexpected lows and interesting highs. It is a metaphorical journey through the mountains, and I am seeing mountains everywhere. I was born in the “land of high mountains,” Haiti (“Ayiti” means mountains in the Taino language). These giants were the constant in my childhood, secure in their majesty but also complicit witnesses to the destructive greed of illusions.
Are mountains opportunities or assets? Are mountains obstacles or liabilities?
Mountains are coded in my genetic code, so why do I long for the ocean? My mom is from LaVallee, a beautiful and reserved town in the mountains of Jacmel. My dad is from Bresilienne, a locality in the mountains of Bainet. You cannot get to my dad’s childhood home by car; there are no roads through these mountains; we only visited twice. When we went, we traveled for hours, left the car by the creek, and walked through the hills. I did not enjoy these walks. It was too hot, I was hungry and impatient, and long and itchy (in fact, I ended up with an annoying skin allergy after my visits). I do not remember what my dad’s childhood home looked like; he never brought us again, and we complained too much when he brought us. I miss these mountains now and wish that I could climb them again (with, of course the right allergy medication) and inscribe this lost house in my memories.
My parents walked miles and miles through the mountains of LaVallee and Bresilienne to go to school when they were children. They walked more than four hours to their elementary schools, sometimes waking up at dawn only with a cup of coffee and little food in their bellies. They always reminded us that these long hours of walking were a sign of their privilege; they were the chosen ones, the lucky ones, the ones handpicked by their parents and graced by their families to attend the only school in the community.
And after my parents climbed these mountains, climbed other mountains, not physical, not literal. The last mountain was uprooting their family and moving to a new country, learning a new language and culture, returning to school, and getting new degrees and careers. They went through these mountains while raising four children, dealing with teen-age angst and sicknesses, and supporting their extended family in Haiti. Deye Monn, gen monn (there are hills after hills), says my mom. There are always mountains, more mountains to climb…
One of my friends called earlier this week to tell me she was withdrawing her candidacy from a job application. She was scared that she couldn’t measure up to the high demands. It is too much, she said… No, I said it is not. It is just another mountain, another phase in life, another challenge… you are just climbing the ladder, asking for the big paycheck. Do you expect to get paid to walk through the valleys? Do you think they will pay you for a simple task? You have come so far and done so much more…
I often wonder if I can climb new mountains, take on new challenges, and carve out time for a new pursuit. As a Black woman, as a mom, an immigrant, every morning is a new mountain. In my startup accounting life, there are many mountains to hike, new processes, new products, shorter close timelines, new implementation, growing pains, building teams, mentoring, and coaching. When I get to the top, other mountains pop up unexpectedly. There are new accounting interpretations, industry disturbances, cash flow intricacies, and auditors. And while I am setting up my sights on these distracting mountains, I abandon projects that excite me, pause, and walk back to my comfort zone by the water, chilling in my showers.
Is the will to climb enough? My friend Regine passed away last month after a long battle with cancer. She was a cheerful mountain climber. She was joyful, she was colorful, and she was loud. She had this laugh that shocked me when I sat next to her in class more than 25 years ago. She climbed the mountain of immigration. She climbed the mountain of single motherhood; she climbed the painful mountains of cancer, treatments after treatments, experimental treatments after experimental treatments, rallying us to pray, to climb with joy. She left a son with so many memories, videos of her dancing, documenting her battle, living, and living hard because she knew she didn't have much time left.
I have many memories of Regine. I remember the first time I came to 3e (10th grade)... I was new to the grade, with no friends after skipping a grade, I sat next to her, and she welcomed me with a big smile, the big gap in her front teeth, her high heels… I remember how she helped me with Spanish and reminded me that “comma” was not a word but a sign of punctuation. I remember how she would always bring the best food during our illicit parties in class. I have not seen Regine since I graduated high school. I bought her chiktay, and gave her accounting and tax advice for her business. There were mountains tall enough to prevent me from meeting her in person… I thought that I had time to climb these mountains. I thought she could climb the next mountain…
So many mountains! And what is there to see at the top? Do you have a better view of the sunsets on top of the highest mountains? Do you get tired? Do you freeze? Are you insane if you set your sights on climbing Everest? One of my favorite French movies (based on a true story) is “L’Ascenscion” (“The Climb - available on Netflix - strongly recommended). In the movie, Samy, a young man with no climbing experience, climbs Everest to prove his devotion to his crush. Why Everest? Why not foster that motivation into starting a business, singing, acting, writing a book, or finishing his degree? What is it with mountains that we always want to get to the top of? To only realize that there will always be other mountains!
I am thinking differently about mountains, linking them to my work, embracing them, and getting excited and challenged by my mountains. An accounting career is another journey through the mountains, and just like Nelson Mandela said, I can rest for a moment in my showers or by my beach, but I dare not linger.
