The Woman Who Inspired Me (the most)
My feed is awash with stories of women as we dive deep into Women’s History Month. I'm thankful for all the women who've supported me throughout my career... But today, I want to shine a light on the woman who profoundly impacted my life. That's my late grandmother, Zeline. Her life was a tapestry woven with resilience, determination, and humor. She's constantly inspired me and my daughters (through me).
Born in the breezy mountains of LaVallee, Haiti, Zeline was destined for greatness from day one. The youngest daughter of Claire, she defied the odds by becoming the first in her family to attend school at the prestigious Elie Dubois Academy. Now, I can't vouch for the school's prestige, but she always insisted on mentioning it (and she'd be disappointed if I didn’t).
After completing her education, Zeline embarked on a career as an elementary school teacher, a path uncommon for women in her era. Despite societal norms, she traversed Haiti, teaching multiple generations of students, showcasing her commitment to educational empowerment. She returned to LaVallee in her thirties, marrying my grandfather – a landowner and community leader. To anchor her, my grandfather built a school for her, the first in the area. Talk about relationship goals - I can’t even get my husband to do the dishes.
Life took an unexpected turn when my grandpa, a fearless protester against the Duvalier regime, suffered a brain aneurysm after enduring many weeks of imprisonment (including numerous beatings). Left with four kids (my mom, the oldest, was only 8 when he passed away), Zeline stepped up like a boss. She successfully raised her children, expanded her farm, and even became the first female mayor, all while keeping her school thriving.
Manyouyou, as I fondly called her, was a multitasking marvel – managing micro-credit programs, serving as the town's godmother/adviser/benefactor, performing deacon duties, and scribbling for those who couldn't. She was the Beyoncé of LaVallee.
During my privileged summers in LaVallee, I'd share a bed with Manyouyou (hello, rock-hard mattress), waking up to roosters and the aroma of strong coffee. Her days were filled with farm chores, community leadership, and impromptu celebrity status. I, of course, was her mini-entourage, soaking in the glory.
My first communion picture with Manyouyou
Manyouyou wasn't just a daytime superhero; she wrote me letters filled with wisdom and humor. Her concise handwriting delivered advice on sibling conflicts, student life, and the occasional scolding for my mischief. Trust me, being reprimanded by Manyouyou was scarier than any horror movie. She was wisdom, she was common sense, and she was a library of stories and histories.
When I left Haiti for college, Manyouyou remained my steadfast cheerleader. She even gifted me a cow (literally), which was sold to provide pocket money for my first year.
When all her children left the country due to insecurity, she moved to be with them. She faced the challenges of a new life in two foreign countries, shuttling between different households and providing emotional support during the transition. She embraced a routine of reviewing essays, folding laundry, and developing an unexpected fondness for The Bold and The Beautiful. Even in the face of cancer, she never complained nor discussed her pain. She knew the end was near and imparted her final lessons, including writing my maid-of-honor speech for the wedding where I met my husband (who happened to be the best man) and reminding me to focus on what I needed rather than what I wanted.
Manyouyou passed away in 2010, just four months after I moved to another country, four months after the earthquake in Haiti. It was a transition year for me, and I was too busy figuring out life, too busy to mourn her properly. She probably wanted it that way; she didn’t want tears. She wanted actions. She was a woman of actions.
As I reflect on her life, here are the empowering lessons derived from Zeline's extraordinary journey:
Education is invaluable: She always said, "Nobody can steal your education; what's in your mind is yours forever." Zeline shattered stereotypes by being the first in her family to attend school at a time when women's education was often overlooked. She invested all her finances in her children’s education, and because of this investment, I am where I am today.
Resilience in adversity: When faced with unexpected challenges, such as the sudden death of my grandpa, Zeline displayed unparalleled resilience and adaptability. She didn’t let the event define her; she stepped into the role of raising her four children with determination and grace. Zeline's ability to navigate adversity, grow her farm, and become the first female mayor demonstrates women's strength to overcome life's toughest challenges.
Work is valuable: She was a workaholic (a trait we share), constantly multitasking, always giving, and supporting her community, a modern-day superhero. From parenting as a single mother, managing micro-credit programs, to serving as a town advisor and benefactor, she epitomized the concept of women excelling in various roles simultaneously. Zeline's legacy encourages women to embrace their multifaceted capabilities, proving they can excel personally and professionally.
The best gift is to give: Even in the face of personal struggles and illness, Zeline always gifted her time or resources to those in need. She gave me so much, and this spirit of giving continues to inspire me today in my struggles.
As we celebrate Women's Month, I wanted to share her memories with this community; she would have liked that. I wish my daughters had the chance to have known her. I hope that telling her story can be a source of inspiration for women everywhere. Zeline’s journey exemplifies women's strength, resilience, and determination, encouraging us to gracefully break barriers, pursue education, and face adversity. Zeline's legacy lives on, reminding us that every woman has the potential to be a trailblazer and make a lasting impact in her community.
#thebalancedsheets #women #trailblazer
