40 things I have learned in the past 30+ years
I took some time off this month to breathe and celebrate a milestone birthday. January is always overwhelming for me, because of the pressure of closing the previous year (financially and emotionally) and also stepping into a new year.
I took a full week off last week and I went on a break in the Caribbean with my parents. January is the month of my birthday and I never took any time off to celebrate since it is usually “ the busy season”. I felt guilty leaving my team, considering the pressure of the close, the audit requests, and the pending reviews. I felt guilty leaving my husband to manage my household with two busy toddlers. I felt guilty abandoning all of my personal projects and commitments and even taking a break from this newsletter. It was all worth it, I cleaned up the slate and … made space for more challenges and more guilt.
I spent a couple of days on a beautiful beach and tried not to do any work at all (I confessed that I frantically checked my emails and annoyed my team, I also managed my kids’ calendar and drove my parents crazy with my pseudo-professional stresses). Anyways, it was a peaceful, meditative celebration, bittersweet because my daughters and spouse were not with us, and reflective as I had my parents' full attention and I was able to be the devoted daughter, which doesn’t happen quite often. Notwithstanding, the many hours we spent lounging by the beach, gossiping and drinking sweet alcoholic beverages, we went on a little adventure that challenged us and created fond memories and conversation topics for the next decade.
I came back refreshed. Not for long though, I have failed to avoid the sad recurring news of police brutality and the “littleness” of our black lives. I came back from a Black Caribbean country where Black joy and beauty were in full display and being celebrated. I came back having to explain and translate to my mom why another mom was crying… I came back feeling guilty to be thinking about that list that I reflected on while the waves were peacefully massaging my anxiety while others were mourning. I came back feeling guilty … I have no answers, and I am in pain, because I have a dad, a husband, and three brothers, and I am anxious every time they go out.
I have no answers and I came back with a list of the lessons learned in the past decades, the bumps, the lows, the journey, and the dazes of what brought me here. These are forty things I have learned in the past decades (my list). I am sharing lessons from living, failing, parenting, accounting, auditing and just being me.
Do you have your own list? What would you add to my list? And since I have half of my life left, any thoughts are welcome…
40 things I have learned in the past 30+ years
Find your zen place, a place that brings you peace, joy, where you are happy doing nothing. For me, it is the beach… I love water, I love the ocean, I love rivers. And I can spend hours lounging and listening to the water moving. I am an Aquarius.
Have the end in mind, the reason, the anchor… for me it is 2030.
The grass is greener where you water it but don’t waste your water in the desert.
Health is wealth and time is the most valuable resource… take care of your health and put the right price on your time.
My job as a parent is to make sure that one day my kids don’t need me and that they can flourish independently of me.
There is no greater joy than seeing your children succeed in life and live happily.
There is no better contentment than seeing your parents retiring and living intentionally.
Do not give when you are not ready to receive. Living in abundance is the result of giving abundantly.
Do not take offenses personally, nothing is really personal (Don Jose Ruiz, The 5th Agreement)
Trust the universe, unless you betray it.
The culprit forgets, the victim remembers (Bay koi bliye, pote mak sonje). People will remember how you made them feel.
The best apology is changed behavior.
You can’t change anyone, but you can change how you react to them. It is ok to quit on people.
Not everyone has to like me. I’m not for everyone and I am still F I N E if someone doesn’t like me.
Every relationship is a business opportunity.
Marriage is a business combination with an ensemble of joint partnerships.
Your network is your net worth. It is Ok to outgrow your family and your friends.
The next best thing after strength is entitlement. Why not you? You are entitled to it.
Talk to people and tell them who you are, what you are about and what you want. If they can’t help you, they can share their thoughts or connect you with someone who can help you.
I’m an introvert and I prefer intimate settings.
Ask your daughter if you look good, she will tell you the truth.
Stupidity is contagious especially when it starts at the top. If you do not denounce it, you are complicit.
Disruption that is not managed well creates implosion
The song is in the tone. Texts and emails take the tone of how the recipient is feeling. Nothing beats a live conversation.
If you do not have a trust fund, education is your best asset.
Generational wealth is the best gift you can give to your grandchildren. Set up that trust fund.
It is not done because you didn’t do it.
If it is not documented, it is not done.
Take some time off. Travel often. A vacation is the cure to everything.
If you want to make sure you choose the right partner, travel to a third-world country with him.
A job is not a career. A career brings purpose and fulfillment. A job provides earnings and/or learnings.
Your job is to always make your boss look good or get richer.
When you work at a startup, routine is never routine.
You are not right, I just want to end that discussion.
Accountants are undercover ninjas and storytellers; control your stories, and understand accounting.
Nobody cares about audits more than auditors.
When working with auditors, the more information you give, the more issues you have.
Life always balances, if not find the plug, the debit or credit that balances it all.
We are all balance sheets with assets and liabilities; intangible assets, untapped assets, and unknown liabilities. Knowing your numbers is the key to success.
After the love of God, nobody will love me better than myself. Nobody will take care of me better than myself (this is my oldest truth and I live by it).
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